due date--typical me

I am blunking...so excuse the randomness and spelling/gramatical errors upfront. Hehe.

In typical Mandy fashion, I f*cked up again. Let me back up.

B and I woke up early, determined to vote before our massages. Long story short, we got in a fight (typical), I cried (typical), and B felt guilty (also typical). But we made it to the polls with plenty of time to spare.

Our massages were heavenly. B actually fell asleep and woke himself up with a little snore.

I didn't give B a heads up, but after the massage I picked up 3 pink balloons. One for Ka.ris, one for Ad.dison...and a spare in case one popped. The plan was to write a letter to each girl on a balloon, then release them. Surprisingly, B liked the idea.

I sat on the couch and wrote a heart-felt letter to each of my daughters. B tried to do the same (unbeknownst to me (wait...is that a word??))--I was upstairs reading all of your wonderful comments. I found him silently crying in his chair. Poor guy. Sometimes I think he's being cold and distant...I forget how much this hurts him, too. He wasn't able to write much...but what he did broke my heart.

On Ad.dison's balloon: "We love you Ad.dy". And on Kar.is': "I love you K.aris!". Tears running down his face the entire time. It broke my heart all over again.

(The f'd up part is coming...promise)

So we go outside, hold each other, and get ready to release the balloons. I tied them together so the girls would never be separated.

On the count of three, we let them go.

We thought we judged the distance and wind correctly.

Wrong.

The little shits (balloons, not the girls) got stuck in the tree. As it was sailing up and up, we were watching in awe...then it started spinning out of control into a huge oak tree. We were both saying "No! No!...come on!" Then they tangled themselves in the very top branches of the tree.

We were both silent for a moment. B looked genuinely hurt. I couldn't help it. I cracked up. Started laughing hysterically. I couldn't help it: this incredibly touching moment was completely f*cked up. Only us.

We watched them for a few minutes. B growing more and more agitated. Me getting a case of the giggles.

Here's the tree (the big oak on the left):

Here's where the balloons were trapped (top center):

Close-up of the balloons:

I decided it was sort of a sign. The girls didn't want to leave us. They would always be watching over us...from their tree (which, ironically, is one that I often watch when I can't sleep at night). I also told B they would be watching over us as we try to give them a little brother or sister.

So we decided to use the spare balloon.

Instead of the heart-felt novel I wrote on the first set of balloons, this is the jist of what I wrote on the 2nd:

"Ka.ris & Ad.dison,

Your mommy and daddy aren't too bright, so the first set of balloons got caught in a tree. Let's give this another try.

We love you,

Mom and Daddy"

And we let it go in the backyard...out of the way of any trees.

So here we are. I have a lot more to say, but all this wine makes me want to pee.