Date: Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
Time: 3:00AM
Place: My ute/vag/girlie bits...and, ummm...in my bedroom (if you're looking for a bigger picture)
I woke up feeling all sweaty, especially between my legs. This isn't abnormal, as I tend to get overheated at night and wake up in a total body sweat. Slightly irritated, I got up to go to the bathroom. Since I was there anyway, I decided to pee. Half sleeping I did my thang. Always the paranoid infertile, I did a quick tp check. It had some clear fluid on it. More curious than freaked out, I did another little swipe and confirmed that it came from the girlie bits.
Still calm, I made a makeshift pad and decided to call the hospital. I was so sure they would just tell me to chill. The nurse said to put a pad on and call back in an hour if I still had leakage. So, I did as I was told: dug through the closet, found a pad, and decided to tidy up the house a bit. Within 3 or 4 minutes I felt like I was peeing my pants. It was such a weird sensation...I couldn't control it at all.
Commence freak-out.
I called the nurse again and told her that I was pretty sure my water had broken, as I was already soaked. She told me to come in. I wasn't having any contractions (that I could feel, at least), so she said it was okay to take a shower, etc. (hey...remember, I had just woken up in a sweat, ick!).
In the meantime, B is sound asleep. I considered not waking him until I was ready, but thought the sound of the shower might wake him. I stood at the foot of the bed, wondering how to wake him. How do you tell someone that their life is about to change SO dramatically? I mean, obviously we were both well aware that little Sherbie would come out eventually, but it didn't feel real until that moment.
I briefly considered screaming "GET UP GET UP GET UP OH MY GOD MY WATER BROKE!! HOLY SHIT WE HAVE TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL!!"...but thought better of it. Thinking back, it would have been funny as hell to watch him jump.
I gave him a sweet kiss on the forehead, causing him to wake up and look at me with a weird, dazed expression. I told him I loved him. He uttered the appropriate response (which, by the way, wasn't "what the fuck are you doing? it's 3am, go to bed").
I then asked "Well, are you ready??"
Again, dazed look. "Huh?"
"My water broke".
Ever want to wake a sleeping giant? Say those words. I promise, it works.
B: "Are you sure?"
M: "Yep."
B: "How?"
M: "I have a stream running down my leg. I called the hospital, they're expecting us...but I'm going to take a shower first. No hurry."
B followed me into the bathroom and watched in horror as I removed my pad and got into the shower.
I took a nice shower, still not thinking that this was it. I wasn't having any contractions, I felt great...was this really going to happen?
B ran around the house, grabbing our laptop, camera, chargers, etc. I grabbed the handy-dandy luggage I had packed over the last few weeks, still thinking it was kind of silly to bring all of this stuff. I sent out a pre-written maternity leave email for work, and of course put a little update here.
The route to the hospital was completely dead...I don't think we passed a single car. But B being B (a former police officer, by the way), HAD to blow through a stop sign, cause "When else will I have an excuse like this?". We laughed our asses off.
We checked in at the ER and were led upstairs to L&D. A nurse had me get undressed. She then asked me a bunch of questions, appearing skeptical that anything was happening. I must have been too calm. Then she checked my ute. Dude, it was like Niagra Falls! A quick little test confirmed that my water had broken (uh...no shit??).
I was hooked up to a couple of monitors, one for Sherbie's heart rate, the other to monitor contractions. B and I were left alone, wondering what the hell to do.
So we did what any sane person would do. We started to play with shit.
B found some light switches and had fun with what he called the "Puss light". Of course we took pictures, silly!.
The nurse came back and read the little strip thingy. Apparently I was having contractions, about 5 minutes apart (who knew?). I was told to get up and walk the halls.
Which I did...for hours. I started to feel the contractions, but they weren't really painful. The doc checked me at 8am and I was still at 1cm. They didn't want to check me often as my water had broken and I was prone to infection. The doc said if I wasn't making progress they would like to induce me around noon. I was a bit freaked as I had heard Pitocin (sp?) was nasty shit. The doc explained that its the hormone we secrete naturally and they can give it in very small doses.
So I walked...and I walked.
Just before 10am B and I decided we just wanted to get the show on the road, so we told the nurse to bring on the Pitocin. Gradually the contractions started to increase in intensity. They were still about 5 minutes apart.
The doc came in around 2pm to do a check. By this time I was definitely feeling the contractions and started to do some deep breathing during the peaks. I've been told I have a high tolerance for pain, so I was sure I would be 6 or 7cm. Sonofabitch I was at 3.
Did I mention I wanted a natural birth? Not because I'm anti-drugs, but because I'm a stubborn bitch and wanted to prove that I could do it.
I moved onto the birthing ball and leaned on the bed, which felt really good. By 3pm the contractions were strong enough I could hardly catch my breath. I have never in my life felt such pain. It was like having the menstrual cramps from hell, like my body was being torn in two. They were coming every 1-2 minutes. I focused on the stupid little cartoon characters on the bed sheets. I thought about all of my infertile bloggy friends and how so many would give anything to be in that pain.
Around 3:45 I told B to get the nurse. I wanted...no I NEEDED an epidural. I assumed I was only at a 5 or 6 and could NOT imagine enduring it for a few more hours.
I told the epidural girl (nurse anethestist), Amy, that I loved her. After an incredibly painful last trip to the bathroom, I sat on the edge of the bed while my lovely Amy shoved a needle into my spine. Surprisingly it didn't hurt much. They gave me the fast-acting drug and would be coming back with the IV meds. Or so we thought.
I had another painful contraction as she was finishing up, and I was scared to death that it didn't work. My legs started to feel warm and tingly, and the pain of the contractions eased up on my left side, but I could still feel them on my right. I told the nurse this, and she said it was possible I would still feel a little something on one side. Meanwhile, I felt like taking a massive dump. Hmmm.
Then I said the words that threw everyone into a mad rush: "I think I want to push."
The nurse checked me, her eyes going kind of wide. "The head is right there. You're fully dilated." She then started shouting orders--"Get me another RN! Get the doc! I haven't set up the room!"
B and I looked at each other in stunned silence. Seriously? Are you sure?? He's actually there? Suddenly I felt SO unprepared.
My mom was standing outside the room and said people started running everywhere. They were all under the assumption it would still be a few hours, so the room wasn't set up, the doc was in clinic downstairs...it was pretty chaotic.
The doc came running in and asked the head nurse if he had time to change. She said yes and he scurried away, returning only a minute or so later, half-garbed up. He put on these crazy knee-high waterproof boot things...I briefly considered asking him if he was going deep-sea fishing; then decided the mood in the room wasn't conducive to my smart-ass questions.
Before I knew it, they had my feet in the stirrups and told me to push the next time I felt a contraction. This was at approximately 3:55pm.
B held one leg, the nurse and I had the other. I had an urge to push, so I did. 10 seconds on, deep breath...10 seconds again. I didn't really feel anything, just a little pressure (THANK YOU AMY!!). B started freaking out "OMG, I can see the head!".
Meanwhile I'm thinking they're all just completely shitting me...exaggerating the progress so I wouldn't get discouraged. A couple of pushes later and B was really freaking out--the expression on his face was priceless--a mixture of horror and excitement. He said the head was out and he had lots of hair. The nurse said I could reach down and feel his head. It was actually out!
Another big, long push and he was completely out! It took a total of about 10 pushes in 10 minutes--I couldn't stop staring at this little being that had just been inside of me. To say it didn't feel real would be an understatement. The doc sucked some gunk out of his throat and nose, and they placed him on my chest.
It was a moment I had dreamed of for so long. I imagined myself bawling, but that didn't happen. I was more in a state of shock. Was this really happening? Was he ours? Are you SURE??
The nurses didn't like that he wasn't crying, so they took him over to the warming table thingy. This sort of freaked us out, but the doc continued his work on my girlie bits, so I figured it couldn't be too serious. The only time I took my eyes off Blake was when the doc pulled the placenta out--because I just had to check that shit out. (It's soooo cool, btw!)
Eventually the nurses decided he was just fine and brought him back to us. B had not left my side the entire time, I think he was a bit freaked out to go near him without me. They again laid him on my chest and I fell in love. The little man just looked around, trying to figure out this new, bright world. Neither B nor I cried...we just looked from him to each other in shock.
Blake has been a complete angel since then. He sleeps all the time; I think he would sleep through the night if we let him! I'm not counting on this continuing, but I'm thankful right now.
I'm looking at my boys right now: B reclining on the couch with little Blake on his chest, sound asleep. Its the most beautiful sight and fills my heart with love. I am a very lucky woman.
I asked Santa what Blake wanted for Christmas. He said a 22' bass boat and a Hummer. Smartass.
